Leaders ADAPT teaching package

Teaching one on one meetings: a free session plan for new and experienced managers

A ready to run class or workshop on one on one meetings, free under CC BY 4.0. Participants take a four minute test, rehearse the opening and energy questions, sort a fictional team on the Energy/Capability Matrix, and walk out with their next one on one written.

20, 45 or 90 minutesFree test includedTwo 1:1 formatsTeam sorting exercisePrintable worksheetCC BY 4.0

Who this is for

Instructors of management, supervision and MBA people management courses. Corporate L&D leads onboarding new managers, or refreshing experienced ones whose one on ones have drifted into status updates. Team leaders who want their own managers to run one on ones that surface problems before they turn into resignations. Participants without direct reports play both sides in the role play and use the managing up note in the facilitator notes for their own boss. No preparation beyond reading this page and printing the worksheet.

What participants leave with

A diagnosis of where their one on ones go quiet, from the free test and from their own last three meetings.
A rehearsed 30 minute one on one in one of two formats, with the opening question, the energy question and the closing commitment written word for word.
Every direct report placed on the Energy/Capability Matrix with one next move for each, and a measured sense of how much of the meeting they themselves talk.

Pre-work (optional, 10 minutes)

Look at the last three one on ones you ran, or had with your own manager. For each one, note three things: who spoke first, the first question asked, and roughly how many minutes went on status updates. Bring the numbers. Most people find the manager spoke first and status took more than half the time.

The one on one that surfaces the truth

A status meeting finds out what someone is doing. A good one on one finds out how they are actually doing. When the meeting is mostly status, it looks like contact while quietly teaching people that the right answer is "fine". This session gives two formats. Pick one per relationship and run it four times before you judge it. Do not blend them.

Format 1: 40/40/20, their agenda (40%): Open with one question: "What's on your mind?" It hands them the agenda. Avoid the three openers that kill it: a vague "how are things" gets "fine", asking for an update turns it into a status meeting, and "how can I help" assumes they need rescuing. After the first answer ask "What else?", and then ask it again. The second and third answers are usually the real ones.
Format 1: calibration (40%): Ask for a number: "From 1 to 10, where is your energy this week?" A number gets past "fine" in a way an open question does not. Anything under 7 earns a follow-up: "What would move it up a point?" Then ask what they are wrestling with that you have not heard about yet. If the answer is nothing, narrow it: "Pick the one part of your week that is harder than it ought to be."
Format 1: alignment (20%): Close on commitments, in their words. Read back the three priorities you believe they have this week and ask whether that matches their list. Ask what they need from you. Then ask what they will have done before you next meet, and let them say it. What a person says out loud, they own.
Format 2: 5/15/15, you own the agenda: A second way to run it, for relationships where status is under control and the job is to grow the person. Five minutes on status, sent ahead in writing where possible. Fifteen minutes of coaching built on one growth question, a new one every meeting. Fifteen minutes solving one problem, not five. If there are five problems, that is a separate meeting. Note the difference from Format 1: here the manager sets the agenda and the report delivers on it.
Five growth questions for Format 2: "What are you currently preoccupied with?" "What are you currently learning?" "Who has helped you move forward in life at a critical time?" "What question still remains unanswered in your mind?" "If you had to give yourself some advice, what would it be?" Use one per meeting, never all five.
The Energy/Capability Matrix: After each one on one, place the person on two axes, energy and capability, and watch which way they move over time. High on both, Stars: give them a bigger stretch, or they will find one somewhere else. High energy, low capability, Risks: coach hard and soon, and do not let enthusiasm hide the skill gap. Low energy, high capability, Bored: find them a new challenge quickly, before a recruiter does. Low on both, Trapped: usually the wrong seat, so have the honest conversation about fit and do not let it drift. One rule for how often to meet: more often while someone's state is changing, less often once it is stable, whatever their seniority.
The 25/75 talk ratio: In a coaching conversation the coach takes about a quarter of the airtime and the other person about three quarters. Once the manager is past a quarter, the one on one has turned back into a lecture, however good the advice. Andreas uses this ratio in his own coaching sessions, and it is the quickest way to make a manager notice how much they talk. In the role play an observer keeps a simple tally.

Format 2 (5/15/15) and the 25/75 talk ratio come from Andreas Pettersson's own coaching practice. The five growth questions are taken from his longer one on one question list.

Want the whole system? The 5-Minute Leader

This page gives you the core of a one on one that surfaces the truth: the structure, the energy question and a way to read your whole team. The complete, step by step protocol, with every script, is in The 5-Minute Leader.

Scripts for the three ways people push back on feedback in a one on one: the Defender, the Deflector and the Ghost
The uncomfortable questions, grouped into career, performance, relationship and strategy
Meeting frequency rules by role and by state, plus how to run skip-level and remote one on ones
A three minute after-meeting record built to show energy trends across weeks
SBED feedback, the 24/48 rule and micro-feedback, built into the one on one rhythm

Get the full 5-Minute Leader system

Session plans

Pick the length that fits your slot. Every version uses the same test, framework and worksheet.

20 minute version

Minutes	What happens
0 to 3	Ask the room: when did you last learn something surprising in a one on one? Contrast the two questions: what are you doing, against how are you really.
3 to 7	Everyone takes the free one on one test and notes the lowest of its four areas: Airtime, Calibration, Feedback or Commitment.
7 to 12	Teach Format 1 from the worksheet, Part A: the opener, "What else?" twice, the energy question and its follow-up.
12 to 17	Energy drill in pairs. The receiver writes a hidden issue on a scrap of paper and only reveals it if asked well. The manager has two minutes using only the Part A questions. Swap.
17 to 20	Hands up: whose hidden issue came out? Which question got it? Each person writes the first question of their next real one on one.

45 minute version

Minutes	What happens
0 to 5	Frame the problem: most one on ones become status updates the manager could have read in a message. Ask when anyone last learned something surprising in one. Debrief the pre-work numbers if people did it.
5 to 10	Everyone takes the free one on one test and notes the lowest of the four areas.
10 to 18	Teach Format 1. Ask the room why each of the three openers to avoid fails before you tell them.
18 to 26	Read the Sam case aloud. Small groups answer discussion questions 1 to 3.
26 to 36	Pairs role play Format 1 using worksheet Part A. Each receiver writes a hidden issue first and only reveals it if the manager asks well. Four minutes each way, one minute to say which question worked.
36 to 42	Groups sort Sam's six team members on the matrix in worksheet Part C. Reveal the key from the facilitator notes and argue the two hard ones.
42 to 45	Each person writes the opening question and format for their next real one on one, and says it out loud. Mention Format 2 as the alternative for a later session.

90 minute version

Minutes	What happens
0 to 10	Pre-work debrief: who spoke first in your last three one on ones, and how many minutes went on status? Collect a few numbers on the flip chart.
10 to 15	Everyone takes the free one on one test. Show of hands on the lowest area.
15 to 27	Teach Format 1, including the alignment close. Demonstrate the energy question with a volunteer you briefed in advance.
27 to 40	Sam case in small groups, discussion questions 1 to 4.
40 to 55	Role play in trios: manager, report, observer. The report holds a hidden issue. The observer ticks which Part A questions were used and when the issue surfaced. Rotate three times, about four minutes each plus feedback.
55 to 65	Teach Format 2 (5/15/15) and the five growth questions. Pairs ask each other one growth question for three minutes each. Discuss when each format fits.
65 to 77	Matrix sort of Sam's team in Part C, then the key and the frequency rules. Each participant places their own team using initials only.
77 to 84	Airtime drill in trios. Teach the 25/75 talk ratio in one minute. The manager runs a four minute Format 2 coaching block with one growth question. Every 15 seconds the observer marks who is talking on the Part E strip: 16 marks in total. A manager with more than 4 marks has turned it into a lecture. Rotate once and compare tallies.
84 to 90	Each person fills in Part D as a template for the next meeting and names their format and first question out loud. Close with discussion question 7.

The free test participants take

Participants take the free one on one meeting test on their own phone or laptop. It takes a few minutes. It asks for a name and email to send the full result, so tell participants that in advance. Results go only to the person who took it, so nobody has to share a score unless they choose to.

Link to give participants (paste it into your slides or learning platform):

https://www.leadersadapt.com/assessments/one-on-one/?utm_source=teaching-package&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=teach-one-on-ones

The case: the team lead whose one on ones go quiet

Fictional case, written for teaching. Names, companies and numbers are invented.

Sam is a fictional new team lead with six direct reports at a software support company. Sam holds a 30 minute one on one with each person every week and opens every meeting with "Give me an update on your tickets."

The meetings run short. Most end after 12 minutes with "nothing else from me". Sam keeps no notes beyond the ticket numbers. Three months in, Sam's strongest engineer resigns, and in the exit conversation says she had been unhappy with her workload since the second month and assumed Sam already knew.

When Sam looks back, every one of her answers to "anything else?" had been "I'm fine." Nobody had asked her for a number, and nobody had asked what she was struggling with.

Sam's manager suggests cancelling the weekly one on ones, because nobody seems to need them. Sam's remaining five reports are described in worksheet Part C.

The handout

One sheet per participant. Part A or B is the meeting itself, Part C is the sorting exercise, Part D is filled in after every one on one, Part E is the airtime tally. Download the Word version

Teaching packageTeaching one on one meetings

Leaders ADAPT | CC BY 4.0leadersadapt.com/teach-one-on-ones/

The one on one worksheet

PART A. FORMAT 1: 40/40/20 (30 minutes) Their agenda, about 12 minutes Open with: "What's on your mind?" Then: "What else?" Then again: "What else?" Notes: ____________________________________________ Calibration, about 12 minutes "From 1 to 10, where is your energy this week?" Score: ___ Under 7: "What would move it up a point?" Ask what they are wrestling with that you have not heard about yet. If "nothing": "Pick the one part of your week that is harder than it ought to be." Notes: ____________________________________________ Alignment, about 6 minutes Read back their three priorities as you understand them. Do they match? Ask what they need from you. Ask what they will have done before you next meet. Their commitment, in their words: __________________________ PART B. FORMAT 2: 5/15/15 (you own the agenda) 5 min Status (ask for it in writing ahead of time): __________ 15 min Coaching. One growth question, new every meeting: [ ] What are you currently preoccupied with? [ ] What are you currently learning? [ ] Who has helped you move forward in life at a critical time? [ ] What question still remains unanswered in your mind? [ ] If you had to give yourself some advice, what would it be? 15 min One problem, not five: __________________________ PART C. THE ENERGY/CAPABILITY MATRIX LOW capability HIGH capability HIGH energy RISKS STARS LOW energy TRAPPED BORED Sam's remaining five reports, plus one more. Place each and write the move. Ari Two years in. Closes the hardest tickets fastest. Energy 8, 8, 9. Asks for bigger work. Quadrant: ____ Move: ________ Bea Joined four months ago. Stays late, eager, escalates twice as many tickets as anyone. Energy 8. Quadrant: ____ Move: ________ Cole Five years in. Flawless numbers. Camera off. Energy 5, 5, 4. Quadrant: ____ Move: ________ Dev Moved from sales a year ago. Misses response times. Says the job is not what he expected. Energy 4. Quadrant: ____ Move: ________ Eli Solid, reliable. Energy over four weeks: 7, 6, 6, 5. Quadrant: ____ Move: ________ Fay Strong performer, usually 8. This week a 3 after a family emergency. Quadrant: ____ Move: ________ My own team (initials only) Initials Last energy scores Quadrant Next move ________ ________________ ________ ______________________ ________ ________________ ________ ______________________ ________ ________________ ________ ______________________ Meet more often while someone's state is changing, less often once it is stable. PART D. AFTER EVERY ONE ON ONE (2 minutes) Date: ________ Energy 1 to 10: ___ Quadrant: ________ One thing I learned that I did not know before: ______________________ Their commitment, in their words: ________________________________ My commitment: __________________________________________________ Read the energy numbers across your last four notes, not one at a time. A run like 7, 6, 6, 5 is a person drifting away, even when no single meeting felt worrying. PART E. AIRTIME TALLY (observer, one mark every 15 seconds: M or R) Round 1 __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ M marks: ___ / 16 Round 2 __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ M marks: ___ / 16 Target: 4 or fewer M marks (the manager talks about a quarter of the time).

Teaching one on one meetings: a session plan. Andreas Pettersson, Leaders ADAPT. Free to use under CC BY 4.0. https://www.leadersadapt.com/teach-one-on-ones/ The full system: 5minleader.leadersadapt.com/5ml

Discussion questions

What did Sam's opener, "Give me an update on your tickets", teach the team the meeting was for?
The engineer assumed Sam already knew. Which question from Format 1 would most likely have surfaced it, and in which month?
Is Sam's manager right that the meetings should be cancelled? What changes if they are, and what changes if the format changes instead?
Place Sam's team on the matrix. Who needs a weekly one on one, who can move to biweekly, and who needs a decision rather than a meeting?
When is Format 2 (5/15/15) a better fit than Format 1 (40/40/20)? What do you lose if you pick the wrong one for a person?
In your last real one on one, roughly what share of the talking did you do? What would you have heard if you had stopped at a quarter?
What question will you ask in your next one on one that you have never asked before?

Facilitator notes

Matrix key for Part C. Ari is a Star: stretch now. Bea is a Risk: coach intensively, and do not let her eagerness hide the gap. Cole is Bored: he needs a new challenge fast, and he may already be looking. Dev is Trapped: a direct conversation about fit, and a respectful exit plan if nothing changes. Eli is the trap card: a capable person drifting from Star toward Bored, which only the run 7, 6, 6, 5 reveals. Act this week. Fay is a single data point: do not relabel her, just meet her more often for now.
In the role play people slide back to "How are things?" within 30 seconds. Stop the pair and restart them on the Part A opener. After "What else?" the manager should count to five in silence. The silence is where the second answer comes from.
Keep the two formats apart. Groups will try to merge them into one long agenda. Ask each participant to choose one format per direct report and run it four times before deciding whether it works.
Growth questions can be personal. Tell participants that receivers may pass on any question, in the exercise and in real life, and that they can answer in character instead of as themselves.
For participants without direct reports, teach managing up. Send status and task updates in writing 24 to 48 hours before the meeting, then use the one on one to learn how your boss thinks and to ask which three items would really move the needle. Write them down where your boss can see you doing it.
If the test results or the pre-work show managers spending most of the meeting on status, do not argue with them. Ask how much of that status they could have read in a message the day before.

Use, adapt and cite

This package is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution 4.0. You may copy, print, adapt and share it in any course, workshop or internal training, including paid ones, as long as you credit the source with a link.

Citation

Pettersson, A. (2026). Teaching one on one meetings: a session plan. Leaders ADAPT. https://www.leadersadapt.com/teach-one-on-ones/

Link for your course page or syllabus

<a href="https://www.leadersadapt.com/teach-one-on-ones/">Teaching one on one meetings: a free session plan for new and experienced managers</a> by Andreas Pettersson, Leaders ADAPT (CC BY 4.0)

Using the package does not imply any endorsement of Leaders ADAPT by your institution, and none is claimed. Teaching with it? Tell us at andreas@leadersadapt.com and we will list your course on the teaching packages page.

Keep going after the session

Participants who want the full one on one protocol, and the delegation, accountability and rhythm protocols around it, can work through The 5-Minute Leader at their own pace.