How do you handle conflict, and which conversation are you avoiding?
Every leader has a conflict pattern, and most cannot describe their own. You know how the last disagreement went. You may not know whether it went that way because of what you said, what you held back, or how much you found out about the other side before you argued yours.
This assessment types how you behave once a disagreement is live, with a report, a peer or your own boss. It looks at two things you can observe in yourself: how hard you push, which is whether you name the problem and hold your position, and how much you pull the other side in, which is whether you ask, listen and repair afterwards.
Twelve statements, about four minutes, no email to see your result. You get one of five conflict styles, a directness score from 0 to 100, four dimension bars, and a line on the conversation you are most likely avoiding right now. Answer for how you actually behave, not for how you would like to.
Conflict Style Assessment
How do I handle conflict, and which conversation am I dodging?
What you get
- Your score out of 100
- Which of the 5 results you land on
- Scores across Naming, Holding, Curiosity and Repair
- Your strongest dimension and your gap, and where to start
Email me this result
Optional. Your score is already on screen. Enter your details and a copy of this result, your score, your level and your four dimension scores, is sent to you.
Done. Your result is on its way.
Related tools
The five results
Every completed run lands on one of these pages, with your own scores drawn from the link the tool gives you. Each one is readable without taking the tool.
- Straight TalkerYou name it, you hold it, you keep the person.
- EnforcerYou name it and win it. The relationship pays.
- SmootherYou keep the person and lose the point.
- PostponerYou wait. The problem does not.
- DealmakerYou split it. Nobody is unhappy enough to fix it.
How this differs
The five style structure is conventional in this field, and the widely used commercial instrument in it is the Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, whose names and items are not used here. This assessment is built on two behaviours you can observe in yourself, how hard you push and how much you pull the other side in, and it is written for people who lead, not for students.
It also differs from the Hard Conversations diagnostic on this site, which scores your readiness to hold accountability conversations; this one types how you behave once a disagreement is live, with anyone, including peers and your own boss.
What happens to your responses
Your score, your result and your dimension scores are shown on screen without an email address. An anonymous copy of the score and the dimension scores, with no name, email or free text, joins the aggregate statistics for this tool, which are published only when a cut has at least 30 completions. Email is optional. Only if you ask for the result by email is it written to your contact record, and only then. The full rules are on the methodology page.
Common questions
What are the five conflict styles in this assessment?
Straight Talker, Enforcer, Smoother, Postponer and Dealmaker. They come from two things you can observe in yourself: how hard you push, meaning whether you name the problem and hold your position, and how much you pull the other side in, meaning whether you ask, listen and repair afterwards. High on both is Straight Talker. In the middle on both is Dealmaker.
What does the directness score measure?
It is a 0 to 100 score built from all twelve statements. A high score means you both name the problem and keep the person, which is the pattern this site calls Nordic directness. It is not a score for how blunt you are. An Enforcer who wins every argument can score in the middle, because the score rewards naming and keeping equally.
Is this the same as the Thomas Kilmann instrument?
No. That commercial instrument uses its own names and items, and none of them appear here. This assessment is built for people who lead and asks about behaviour you can check against the last few months: whether you said so in the meeting, whether you folded to end a conflict, whether you changed your mind because of what someone said.
What is the conversation I am most likely avoiding?
It is read from your lowest dimension. If Naming is lowest, it is the one where you have to say the thing out loud. If Holding is lowest, the one where they push back and you fold. If Curiosity is lowest, the one where you are wrong. If Repair is lowest, the one after the one you won.
Do I need an email to see my result?
No. Your style, your directness score and your dimension bars appear as soon as you answer the twelve statements. An email is asked for only if you want a copy of the result sent to you: the link to your result page and your score. Your answers are captured anonymously for the statistics page, with no name or email attached.
Related tools
- Leadership Style Quiz12 min. How you exercise authority.
- Leadership Assessment GuideReference. How to assess leadership, and which tool to use.
- 360 Feedback Question BankReference. Questions organised by competency.
- One on One Meeting QuestionsReference. Questions that make a one on one worth having.
The numbers behind this tool
Aggregate results are published at Conflict Style Statistics: Leader Benchmark once a cut reaches 30 completions, under the Leadership Readiness Index methodology. More free tools are at the tools shelf.