3. Discovering Your Self-Awareness Profile

The four self-awareness profiles

Welcome back. Now that you understand the two types of self-awareness, internal and external, it's time to figure out where you currently stand so you can focus your development where it will have the biggest impact. This is Chapter Three, Discovering Your Self-Awareness Profile. Based on how you score on internal and external self-awareness, you'll fall into one of four profiles that you can see here. Knowing your current profile helps focus your growth where it matters most. The seeker has low internal and low external self-awareness. In this quadrant, you often feel lost, stuck, disengaged, and disconnected from self and others.

The pleaser has low internal and high external self-awareness. In this quadrant, you often lack personal boundaries and insight and are overly attuned to others. The introspector has high internal and low external self-awareness. At this stage, you're often deep and have a rich internal world, but are blind to your impact on others. And then you have the aware. In this case, you have high internal and high external self-awareness. In this quadrant, you're attuned to self and others, introspective, and open to feedback. Research shows that individuals in the aware quadrant are the most effective, respected, and promotable.

Identifying your own profile

Now it's time to identify your specific profile. In the workbook, you will find all of these different characteristics in this exercise. I want you to read through the characteristics and honestly assess which resonates the most with you right now. If you look at the pleaser, check these if they sound like you. I often worry about how others see me. I struggle to say no or set boundaries. I read the room well but lose track of myself around others. In the seeker quadrant, check these if they sound like you. I feel unclear about who I am or where I'm going. I avoid self-reflection or feedback.

I feel stuck or disconnected at work or in relationships. For the introspector: I understand myself well internally. I prefer introspection over external input. I'm often surprised by how others react to me. And then finally, in the aware, check these if they sound like you. I understand my strengths, triggers, and values. I actively seek feedback to grow. I show up with integrity and emotional intelligence. Here I'd like you to pause, take the time in the workbook, check through these different statements, and identify which profile fits you best right now. You might have elements of multiple profiles, but as you're looking through them, one will probably feel most accurate for where you are today.

Choosing one area to focus on

Once you have that profile, let me be totally clear: there's no judgment about which quadrant or which profile you end up with. Every profile has value and everyone starts somewhere. I've been in each of these different quadrants at different points in my career. So let's move on to the next exercise, Exercise Five. Based on the profile that you've identified, what's one specific area you want to focus on? Think about what made you put yourself in your particular profile. For example, if you consider yourself a pleaser, what do you want to work on most? Is it worrying about how others see you, struggling to say no, or forgetting to keep yourself in focus? Maybe it's even something completely different.

Here are some examples of focus areas to get you started. If you're a seeker, your focus area might be to get clearer on your values. If you're a pleaser, maybe you want to practice setting boundaries. If you're an introspector, a focus could be to understand your impact better. And for the aware profile, a goal could be to help your team develop their own self-awareness. So go ahead, take some time, pause the video, think about this, and write down one area that you'll focus on. Understanding your profile is just the beginning. In our next chapter, we're going to go deeper and explore how your early experiences might still be influencing your leadership today. So see you in Chapter Four.